Cafe Poca Cosa, Tuscon, Arizona, USA

What to wear: Something all glow in the dark so that you have a light source.

Sounds like: Experimental Mariachi Music. No. Really.

Vegetariano: One option. Vegans, you’ll have rice.

Pockets: Give me my $50 back.

Guilt Element: You deserve better for being in Tuscon.

Restrooms: Not gender neutral and I guess the decor budget stopped at the dining room?

Accessibility: All the floors fairly even with ramps, the menu, however, is hand written on a chalk board.

I’ve been slacking on writing about my food travels. Not that I haven’t eaten out, but that I have been eating out unintentionally. But it’s conference season so IT’S TIME TO EAT. Out, that is. I’m here in Tuscon, Arizona for a conference at The University of Arizona so clearly, my eating has a purpose.

So let me tell you about Tuscon: NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT TUSCON. Y’all, being an hour from the border has its benefits. I miss Sonoran Mexican food and Tuscon is all about it, I swear NOTHING I have had here (yet) as been less than stellar. I will do another write up on a restaurant I visited three times in my short stay here. (Two of them in one day.) But right now and on today Cafe Poca Cosa.

So this place is swanky and I am wearing mall Mom tights with the lace and my favorite Pom Pom shoes. I’m also here alone (as usual) this is definitely a date spot. The atmosphere is lovely with low sexy lighting, a monochrome color pallet, silver cushioned chairs and a pretty pricy menu.

When you come here and things feel a little bit of a mystery, know that the menu is coming. Changed daily and presented on a little chalkboard by your waiter. I’d already attacked most of the amazing chips and salsa a server placed in front of me lot long after sitting down. I was able to order a drink. A margarita called “el fuego” that was served in a martini glass to my chagrin, but after one sip, I completely understood why.

So what did I get? Not that it matters because by the time you get here it won’t be here. I got chef’s choice. A mystery selection of three of the items on the menu. This is a choice of serious consequence for your sister who is journeying out of vegetarianism. So imma be honest. I don’t remember what I got but this is what it looks like.

Y’all this is the most pretentious Mexican food experience I have ever had.

I chose the chefs choice because meat on menus still freak me out. It was a good choice because I think I would have been mad at any one of these options alone. Together, it allowed for a varied food experience with a ton of flavors. The chicken dish was dressed in a mole sauce that still had whole peanuts peaking through. Weird. And it flared up my allergies. There were two beef dishes otherwise, one with a verde sauce that was a kind of shredded beef dish and other skirt steak dish in a verde sauce.

While being this pretentious you would think that the tortillas would be better than store bought.

Am I supposed to be impressed that you put corn in my otherwise bland white rice?

All in all, bring a shallow date to this place for dick discounts but if you’re wanting to feel like your having a pocket to mouth worthy experience go to one of these Mom and Pop joints. Much more flavorful, much more honest, deeper drinks, and many more options.

I’m sorry that I even did this. I feel defensive for Tuscon.By no means should you get the impression that the food here isn’tgood. It’s a decent place. Just not worth the bougie ass sensibility.

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